I am Professor Write-A-Lot and I now possess this corner of The VERB because I know everything about writing. See, I have a stick. Only those who know everything about writing are allowed a stick.

Do come in. Please ignore the scattered manuscripts, step over the stacked books and avoid the dog's bone. You have a question, do you? Very well. Ask away, and I shall share my brilliance!

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
Do stories with happy endings sell more than those that just end?

I should think stories with satisfying endings sell more. Readers prefer, nay, readers expect a story to reach some sort of resolution by the end. If it satisfies, it creates the ahhhh effect that then creates the popular buzz. In many cases, however, the resolution itself has nothing to do with happiness.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
I have written a mainstream novel and now I need to find a literary agent. Where do I start?

Offline, one might consult the pages of Writer's Market and Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors and Literary Agents. Valuable resources, indeed. Do remember, however, that circumstances change regularly in the writing industry and portions of the information listed in print could have quite possibly expired by the time one reads it. Compile a list, yes, but consult other resources prior to submitting.

Online, begin with Agent Query. Use the quick search option to find agents who represent projects similar to one's own. Visit the agents' websites. Do they appear professional? Productive? Attended to?

Visit watchdog sites, such as Preditors & Editors and Writer Beware. Are the agents attached to the nasty word scam? If so, what were the complaints? Do they appear to be unreasonable or fair? Did the agents attempt to rectify the situations? Or simply ignore them?

Finally, google the agents. What is the consensus? Legitimate? Questionable? Or utterly fraudulent?

If after this exhaustive research, one finds the agents' reputations are as impeccable as a rose, one should revisit the websites. Study the submission guidelines and send forth that mainstream novel.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
Got any suggestions for choosing a good title for my novel?

Consider the theme, the point, of the story. What does it say? Attempt to convey that in as few words as possible. Once the alluring title rings nicely in one's ear, google it to ensure that no other genius has thought of it first.

Do, however, avoid becoming positively wedded to a title. Publishers with savvy marketing departments have been known to suggest a change.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
Here's the way I end my first chapter. Will you please tell me if it makes you want to keep reading?

     Time to get in his way. “I’ve decided you ain’t taking a penny out of here. What do you think of that?”
     That gets the gun back in my face. “What’d you say?”
     “You deaf?”
     “Sit down.”
     “Hell no.”
     “Sit down before I sit you down.”
     Okay, he’s a big man and can easily take me. But I don’t care. “Oooh, I’m scared. Tough guy with the gun’s gonna—”
     He drops me. One punch to the jaw, and I’m seeing the bright white ceiling. He’s officially reached the stage of pissed off. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to be beaten to death. That’s not in the plan. I want it swift and painless.

My hand is already turning the figurative page. Quite engaging. 

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
How should I address an editor in an email?

The same way one would address any stranger: Dear Ms. Smith or Dear Mr. Jones. Such courtesies make one sound professional. After the relationship is established, the formality is dropped.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
I am grateful to now have the time to write the Great American Novel, but when I walk away from it, I have a hard time getting back into it. Do you have any tips on staying motivated?

This question recalls a conversation with the editor of this very ezine. She possesses an unique way of maintaining motivation, and I've asked her to share it here.

Elizabeth, if you will...

Well, I don't know how unique it is, but this is what I do. When I begin a new project, I assign it a soundtrack. For instance, I am now in the midst of writing a psychological thriller and the score I've chosen comes from Tim Burton's film Sleepy Hollow. The composer, Danny Elfman, creates an ambiance thick with haunting suspense. That, I feel, makes my prose hauntingly suspenseful. I listen to this CD only when I'm writing my thriller. As soon as I hear the first note of the first track, I am back in the story. And I stay there with the use of headphones. These are vital to shut out the real world and enhance my concentration. I also do this when I'm editing The VERB, writing Opinions or performing Proofreads. Each project gets its own music. And it never fails to stimulate my imagination.

But I do know writers who say that music, as well as any other sound, is a distraction. If that's the case with you, try the "silent" senses. Attach a sight (photo? painting?), a smell (perfume? candle?), a feel (velvet? silk?) or even a taste (tea? wine?) to the project and bring it out only when you're working. This might be all you need to get lost in that world again.

Thank you, Elizabeth. A final word of caution. Avoid the phrase: Great American Novel. This places undue pressure on the storyteller, particularly beginners, and can stymie the abundant creativity that lurks within. Be kind to oneself. Simply set out to tell a good story.

Ask Professor Write-A-Lot!