The VERB - December '08

SHOULD YOU WRITE FOR CHILDREN?

At first glance, writing a children's book seems to be the easiest writing around. All you have to do is think up a simple little story, throw in a worthy opponent and a moral, and bam! Before you know it, you're attending your own movie premiere!

But take a second glance before you buy that tux or gown. The key to writing for children is to become a child yourself. Can you stretch back over the years and grab the innocent days of your youth? Or are you permanently stuck in the adult world?

Take the quiz below to see if you should be writing for children.

1. Lovable cat, Poxy, has fallen into a swift river. His friend, Cookie, runs to the bank when she hears his cries. How would you have Cookie respond?

a) Cookie calls out, "Hold on, Poxy! I'll save you!" She dives head first into the raging waters.
b) Cookie sighs. "How many times has your mother told you to stay away from this river? You'll never learn, will you?"

2. Todd and Marty, third-graders, are in the grocery store. Todd sticks a candy bar in his pocket and heads for the door. How would you have Marty react?

a) "Put that back, Todd!" Marty says, glancing over his shoulder. "You're going to get us in big trouble!"
b) Marty shakes his head. "Your mom and dad work night and day to give you the good things in life, and this is how you repay them?"

3. A wicked witch kidnaps a beautiful girl. After binding her with rusty old chains, the witch approaches her with large scissors, intent on cutting off the girl's golden locks for an eternal youth serum. How would you have the young girl react?

a) "Don't come near me, you mean old hag!" shouts the girl, struggling with the chains around her wrists. "Go away! Go away!"
b) "Oh, grow up." The girl rolls her eyes. "Everybody knows there's no such thing as youth serum. You got to find a qualified plastic surgeon."

4. Swashbucklers Brad and Joey duel in the street with plastic swords as the neighborhood kids watch. Suddenly Brad knocks Joey's sword into the air. How would you have Joey react?

a) Joey leaps onto Mr. Crowley's truck and catches the falling sword with one hand. Cheers erupt all around. Smiling, he flips over the side of the truck and gives a gracious bow.
b) To avoid breaking his neck, or scratching Mr. Crowley's truck, Joey stands still and waits for the sword to fall to the ground.

5. Bubbles the Hamster is missing from her cage. Five-year-old Michelle looks all over the house, but can't find her anywhere. What would you write next?

a) Michelle climbs up on her bed and sobs into her pillow. Bubbles is the first pet she's ever had, and she loves the little thing so much. What will she do if she can't find her?
b) Michelle shrugs. "Oh well," she says. "Hamsters are just little rats that don't usually live longer than a year anyway. If she doesn't come out soon, I'll get something bigger."

If you find the B answers acceptable, you are firmly rooted in the adult world. No nonsense for you. And that's okay. There are many writing ventures that require that sort of maturity.

But if you want to create stories for the little ones, you must remember what it was like to be a little one. Get on your knees. Watch cartoons. Ride a bike. Climb a tree. Buy some Crayons and coloring books.

Don't try to dazzle children with your fancy writing, dazzle them with your vivid memory. Those are the stories that keep them coming back, generation after generation.