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When listing a series of things, aim for
parallelism.
What do these items have in common? How can they be presented with the
greatest amount of precision
and the least amount of confusion?
With a little practice, clunky awkward phrases
become flowing bits of information.
EXAMPLE:
Customers often call the home office to inquire about pricing, what items are available, and to place orders.
CLEANED UP:
Customers often call the home office to inquire about prices, to check on the availability of certain items and to place orders.
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EXAMPLE:
He has a bad eye, is deaf in one ear and his right leg is stiff as a board.
CLEANED UP:
He has a bad eye, a bad ear and a leg that won't bend.
EXAMPLE:
To make these luscious rolls, you just need some sifted flour, stir in milk and mayonnaise.
CLEANED UP:
To make these luscious rolls, you only need flour, milk and mayonnaise.
EXAMPLE:
I always thought I'd like to be an astronaut. Or a veterinarian. Of course a policeman would be what I do best.
CLEANED UP:
At different times I've wanted to be an astronaut, a veterinarian or a policeman.
EXAMPLE:
The most powerful way to prevent a heart attack is to stop smoking, exercise and cholesterol levels should be driven down.
CLEANED UP:
The most powerful ways to prevent a heart attack is to stop smoking, to begin exercising and to practice lowering cholesterol levels.
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