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- WELCOME

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- INNER RESEARCH

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- WHAT'S ON YOUR DESK?
- WRITER MOVIE OF THE MONTH
- SAY WHAT?
- MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF WRITING 
- CURRENT CONTEST

Page 4
- MAKING A SCENE

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- JUST CURIOUS 
- LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ...

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- CLEANING UP PROSE
- SAMPLE OF EXCELLENCE

Page 7
- CHALKBOARD

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- QUIZ CORNER
- FUN SITE OF THE MONTH

 

 


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CLEANING UP PROSE

When listing a series of things, aim for parallelism. What do these items have in common? How can they be presented with the greatest amount of precision and the least amount of confusion? 

With a little practice, clunky awkward phrases become flowing bits of information. 

 


EXAMPLE:
Customers often call the home office to inquire about pricing, what items are available, and to place orders. 
CLEANED UP:

Customers often call the home office to inquire about prices, to check on the availability of certain items and to place orders.

EXAMPLE:
He has a bad eye, is deaf in one ear and his right leg is stiff as a board.
CLEANED UP:
He has a bad eye, a bad ear and a leg that won't bend. 

EXAMPLE:
To make these luscious rolls, you just need some sifted flour, stir in milk and mayonnaise.
CLEANED UP:
To make these luscious rolls, you only need flour, milk and mayonnaise. 

EXAMPLE:
I always thought I'd like to be an astronaut. Or a veterinarian. Of course a policeman would be what I do best.
CLEANED UP:
At different times I've wanted to be an astronaut, a veterinarian or a policeman. 

EXAMPLE:
The most powerful way to prevent a heart attack is to stop smoking, exercise and cholesterol levels should be driven down.
CLEANED UP: 
The most powerful ways to prevent a heart attack is to stop smoking, to begin exercising and to practice lowering cholesterol levels. 

 

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SAMPLE OF EXCELLENCE

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts. 

In a justly ordered universe, where loss of equipoise would mean total destruction, individual responsibility must be absolute. A man’s weakness and strength, purity and impurity, are his own and not another man’s. They are brought about by himself and not by another; and they can only be altered by himself, never by another. His condition is also his own, and not another man’s. His sufferings and his happiness are evolved from within. As he thinks, so is he; as he continues to think, so he remains … 

And you, too, will realize the vision (not just the idle wish) of your heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both; for you will always gravitate toward that which you secretly love most.”

 

- JAMES ALLEN
As A Man Thinketh

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