I am Professor Write-A-Lot and I now possess this corner of The VERB because I know everything about writing. See, I have a stick. Only those who know everything about writing are allowed a stick.

Do come in. Please ignore the scattered manuscripts, step over the stacked books and avoid the dog's bone. One has a question, does one? Very well. Ask away, and I shall share my brilliance!

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
I am submitting a story to an online ezine, but their submission guidelines are vague. For instance, I notice that the published stories are not indented and they have a space between the paragraphs. Should I submit my story in this same format? (I emailed their editor, but never heard back.)

If this online ezine has not taken the time to specify format in the guidelines, odds are they are not too concerned with it. A most unprofessional approach, indeed.

Under such ill-defined tutelage, one will always do well to adhere to the standard double-spaced, indented manuscript format, but I strongly suggest another email to the editor. If this one also goes unanswered, a larger question looms: Does one really wish to work with those who do not answer mail?

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
What are brads?

Hard metal fasteners that hold one's screenplay together. A well-bound script consists of three-hole punched paper, a front and back cover and two brads, one inserted into the top hole and one into the bottom.

Be aware there also exists flimsy brass plated fasteners that are worthless for this job, and should be scorned with extreme fervor. If one is unable to find the genuine article in one's local office supply establishments, visit The Writers Store. These nice folk offer a Script Binding Kit that includes all one needs, including a rubber mallet to make those brads stay put.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
I am stumped. I thought I had written the perfect first chapter, with incredible dialogue, heightened suspense and conflict. But some members of my writers group were not moved at all. Although it felt so good, so right to me, this has made me question my own judgment. Should I stop listening to naysayers?

'Tis a wonderful thing that one is seeking feedback from others. Such a practice allows writers, a normally reclusive lot to begin with, the opportunity to step outside of the story and view it through the eyes of others. This in turn provides vital insight that one would never find within the corridors of one's own mind.

One must, however, always remember that we human beings come in all shapes and sizes, with various likes and dislikes. Translated to the writing business, this means that no matter how well one tells one's story, some will not like it.

Listen to one's voice. Complete the story. Submit it to agents/editors. If one receives a slew of rejections, one will know the story needs an overhaul. Trial and error. 'Tis the only way a writer becomes a storyteller.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
When do I use toward and when do I use towards?

Depends on where one hangs one's hat. Toward is more common in American English; towards is the predominant form in British English.

Dear Professor Write-A-Lot,
There are some Hispanic characters in my story. I have them saying a few things in Spanish on occasion, like "Dios mio!" or short phrases for emphasis or when they are trying to hide what they are saying to gringos.

Where it's too complex I work in a translation or clues as to meanings. But my question is whether, when quoting somebody's Spanish speech in an otherwise English-language book, should I use English quotation marks ("Si") or the Spanish guillemets (« »)?

My Chicago Manual of Style says "Yes." My old Perrin Writer's Guide and Index to English is of no help here. Can I use English quotation marks with the upside-down ! and ? marks that Spanish puts at the beginning of exclamations and questions? Should I write the Spanish in italics even for simple words that everyone knows, like "macho" and "Si?"

Although one's publisher will ultimately decide this for the printed book, let us focus on the unpublished manuscript. Since this is an English work, one should use English punctuation throughout.

The standard Spanish practice of inserting an upside down question mark (¿) at the introduction of a question and an upside down exclamation point (¡) at the introduction of an exclamation should be considered as part of the sentence. Therefore, these would go inside the quotation marks.

No hard rule on italicizing the Spanish. Some do; some do not. As always, the goal is clarity and consistency.

Ask Professor Write-A-Lot!