DOES YOUR QUERY STAND OUT? 

A query letter is an audition without your winning smile, your angelic voice or your rhythmic body. You have one prop, your words, and about a minute or two to keep judges from shouting, "Next!" 

A document as important as this can't be whipped up in a matter of minutes. It has to be honed with the same diligence the manuscript received. 

Take a look at the five components of a query letter. Which ones grab your eye?

1. The Salutation.

       a) Dear Madam or Sir:
       b) Dear Acquisitions Editor:
       c) Dear Mr. Ellenburg:

2. The Introduction.

       a) How are you? Hope you're having beautiful weather where you are and enjoying it immensely. 
       b) Boy, do I have a story for you! Guaranteed to make us both rich!
       c) I have just completed a historical novel, approximately 91,000 words, that takes place during the American Civil War.  

3. The Synopsis.

       a) I'm sure you've been in love at least once in your life. Well, my leading lady is really having a hard time with the man she loves because she wants to marry and become a nurse but he feels, because his mom died when he was four, that he shouldn't get attached to a female or he will be hurt. Of course, he's only hiding his real feelings, he loves Maria, but he doesn't think she loves him, so she goes through this wild time where she dates other guys and he ....

       b) My book is kinda like The Godfather, only from the other side. You know what I'm talking about. Everyone who's read it thinks it's the next blockbuster, so now is the time to hop on board!!! 

       c) Mark Standefer, a Union soldier, deserts his post and heads home to his dying wife. On foot through five states, he dodges the authorities and an assortment of oddball characters--good and evil--who are also on the run. By the time he reaches his beloved homestead, the war is over and his wife is dead. But a three-year-old daughter awaits him. 

4. The Bio.

       a) I grew up on a small farm in Coffeyville, Kansas, the second son of Mr. and Mrs. Thurman Watson. At the age of four, I received my first book as a birthday present at ....

       b) I am a wife, a mother, a lover and a dreamer. I do a lot of things and go a lot of places and I know that with the right inspiration and guidance from you, this could be a lasting relationship for both of us. 

       c) My mystery short stories have appeared in CrimeMag, Blood and Guts and Ballistic World. I am a member of History Writers, Inc. and a police officer in the city of O'Fallon, Illinois.

5. The Closing. 

       a) Thanks. Call or write. I'll be in your area next month. If I haven't heard from you by then, I'll check in. Maybe we can do lunch.

       b) I prefer you call me rather than email because I like to hear the voice of the person I'm going to be working with. Call the top number from 8 to 5pm, but only on Mondays and Thursdays. Call the middle number on Wednesdays. If I'm not there, ask for Vera and leave a message. Call the bottom number on Tuesdays and Fridays after 7pm. I can't be reached on the weekends.

       c) I look forward to hearing from you. Feel free to email me at the address above.

1. C. An eye-catching salutation uses a specific name. Busy agents and editors are people too, and prefer to be addressed as a person, not a title. 

2. C. An eye-catching introduction immediately unveils the work. Small talk and hyperbole wastes time. What do you have? Where does it fit?

3. C. An eye-catching synopsis focuses on the main plot. Vague ramblings create the impression of a vague story. Who's the main character? What's his story?

4. C. An eye-catching bio describes the professional writer. Life histories or flighty expectations presents an amateur. Note: If you are currently unpublished, you could list writer-related classes, conferences and experiences or delete this part altogether.

5. C. An eye-catching closing creates a desire to contact, and to work with, the writer. A demanding or presumptuous tone creates the opposite effect.