HOW FAR DO YOU GO?

One of the joys

Do you take advantage of this luxury? Take the quiz below to see how far you let your characters go.

1. Martha steals expensive perfume and hides it in Caren's purse. What do you have Caren do?

    a) Pretend it never happened.
    b) Call Martha to ask if she knew who did that.
    c) Squeal into Martha's drive, drag her thieving friend out by the ear and take her back to the store to pay for the perfume.

2. Wade wants to study Interior Design, but his father demands he study Architecture. What does Wade do?

    a) Gives in to his dad's wish.
    b) Writes his dad a long letter, explaining why he wants to study Interior Design.
    c) Moves out, gets a job as a male stripper to pay for design school.

3. Andrew learns his new wife is having an affair. What does he do about it?

    a) Eats Rocky Road ice cream and cries.
    b) Confronts her. They talk a few moments. They reconcile. Everything's fine.
    c) Pretends he's going to work. Returns to find the "couple" in a compromising position on his pool table. Whacks them out of the house with a pool cue.

4. Eddy wins a trip to Aspen, Colorado, but he doesn't know how to ski. What does he do?

    a) Gives the prize to a friend who can ski.
    b) Takes the trip, but stays away from the slopes.
    c) Flies to Aspen. Skis. Falls. Skis. Breaks both arms. Falls in love with ski instructor. Moves to Colorado.

5. Janet witnesses her boss hitting his wife. What does she do?

    a) Looks the other way.
    b) Steps into his office, feigning ignorance, and launches into a work-related dilemma.
    c) Jumps on his back, drives her fingers into his eyes while shouting at a co-worker to call 911.

6. Maurice hears a noise in the basement. What does he do?

    a) Leaves the house.
    b) Goes to the top of the stairs, calls out, "Anybody down there?" Locks the door.
    c) Grabs a flashlight and a broom, runs down the steps, screaming like a banshee.

The A characters are the anal-retentive crowd, hiding in the bushes. Guaranteed to put readers fast asleep. If you recognize these folk in your work, you're either terribly shy or terribly afraid family and friends won't approve of what you have to say. Time to pick a pseudonym. Nobody has to know what you're writing. The anonymity will free up your creative voice, and give new life to the anal ones.

The B characters are on the fence, unsure which way to lean. They're communicative to a point, which is always interesting, but they back off before things get too complicated. If your characters fit this description, you're too close. These people have become your friends, so you hesitate to hand them any problem that can't be resolved within a few pages. Time to push them off that safe fence and into a pile of horse droppings!

The C characters are at the edge of the cliff, hanging on with one finger. They dance to a different beat, refusing to seek the approval of others. All memorable characters possess this trait to a certain degree. If you're creating such people, you too must hear a distant drum. Congratulations! Time and time again you will force your readers to turn the page, asking with bated breath: What will these people do next?