Adjectives are
meant to enhance, to provide a clearer mental picture of a nondescript noun. But
when a noun describes itself, an adjective can easily become a needless
superfluous redundant overkill beating of a dead horse. And we sure don't
want that.
Study your adjectives carefully. Make
sure they're adding something to the picture, not repeating it.
EXAMPLE:
Beyond the hanging beads, we walked into a room of candlelight. She
pointed us toward the table with the round orb in the center. CLEANED UP:
Beyond the hanging beads, we
walked into a room of candlelight. She pointed us toward the table with
the glass orb in the center.
EXAMPLE:
Elgier directed his thoughts to the pint-sized
dwarf. CLEANED UP:
Elgier directed his thoughts
to the surly dwarf.
EXAMPLE:
Furthermore, they ordered that at no time
would a foreign alien control the government. CLEANED UP:
Furthermore, they ordered
that at no time would a foreigner control the government.
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SAMPLE OF
EXCELLENCE
It was the very witching time of night
that Ichabod, heavy-hearted and crest-fallen, pursued his travel
homewards, along the sides of the lofty hills which rise above
Tarry Town, and which he had traversed so cheerily in the
afternoon. The hour was
dismal as himself. Far
below him, the Tappan Zee spread its dusky and indistinct waste of
waters, with here and there the tall mast of a sloop, riding
quietly at anchor under the land.
In the dead hush of
midnight, he could even hear the barking of the watch dog from the
opposite shore of the Hudson; but it was so vague and faint as
only to give an idea of his distance from this faithful companion
of man. Now and then, too, the
long-drawn crowing of a cock, accidentally awakened, would sound
far, far off from
some farmhouse away among the hills—but it was like a dreaming
sound in his ear.