The plan was to stand there long enough to make it look like they’d knocked, and given the “sheep” or the “goat” plenty of time to answer the door. Then they would run back to the family Chrysler and announce, all sad like, that the people weren’t home. Only then would they wrap up this Saturday morning proselytizing and get back home where maybe Judy could catch the tail end of a cartoon.   

   Usually worked like a charm. 

   But that morning, the door opened anyway. No knocking. No ringing of the bell. Out of the blue, a gray-haired man, all dressed up and ready to go somewhere, stepped out on his porch at the precise moment two strange girls decided to lurk there. He paused, looking as if he’d just come face-to-face with a rattlesnake.  

   Judy, who was as shocked as he, simply froze. 

   “Help you?” he asked with a hint of fear. 

   Judy's sister, Lee, elbowed her. Didn’t matter that Judy was the youngest of the two, she had the religious mags, The Watchtower and Awake!, in her hand. So she was the Jehovah Witness who had to do the talking. 

   “Hel-lo.” Judy’s voice went up two octaves as she struggled to sound serious. “My name is…” She couldn't remember her name, so she did the next best thing. She burst into laughter.  

   Lee, who never needed much encouragement to laugh at anything, let loose her well-known cackle. 

   The man clutched the door handle, face as straight as a mortician. “What do you want?” 

   “My name… my name is Juuuu... deeee and I’ve got…” This time she doubled over, wheezing.  

   Of course, Lee joined in.  

   The man waited, eyes moving back and forth between them. “All right, Judy, what can I help you with?” 

   “Two magazines…” 

   “Yeah, I see the magazines,” he said. “What about ‘em?” 

   Judy sobered long enough to clear her throat and say, “They’re full of Jesus!” 

   That started a new round of howls from both girls. Lee fell into the old man's rocking chair, gasping for air. 

   “How much you want for them?” he asked above the noise. 

   “Ten cents!” Judy bawled.

   “For both?” 

   “Uh huh!” 

  “Good grief.” The gray-haired man opened the screen door and handed her a quarter. “Give me those things before y’all explode.” 

   He closed the door and locked it. As if he wasn’t going anywhere after all. As if he wasn’t ever going anywhere again for the rest of his life.  

   After the door closed, Judy and Lee stood there for a minute, wiping their eyes, catching their breath before they went to the car. If Momma and Daddy knew what just happened, they'd both be getting a whipping.